I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
