She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I accidentally had phone sex last night
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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