I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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