just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
