A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
