is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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