I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
