Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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