my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
