do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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