Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.