I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch