I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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