Do you still have your period?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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