She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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