Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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