wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
