i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
