Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
