you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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