Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
