butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
