white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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