I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Operation Purity has been aborted
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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