she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
They have beer where we have blood.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
