ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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