I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
