hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
