he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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