I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
