Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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