Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
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My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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