he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
