getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
