It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
