why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
