I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
