I love black thongs
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
