I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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