The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
