so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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