Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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