just come out here and I will go home with you...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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