I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
