That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Come on in and take your pants off
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