i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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