I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
