how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
