Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I would ride that face into the sunset
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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