I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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