You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
