the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
PANTIES FOUND
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