well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
