Dual....:-)
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
