What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
