why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
