South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
