so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
