Dual....:-)
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
