it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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