is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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