I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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