He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
