thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
