You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
