Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
